🔗 Share this article

“Well, it’s rather brutal here. The guidance we offer all of our clients to commit their entire holdings into tinned provisions and hunting rifles.” This piece of shrewd guidance comes from the Brain Gremlin – a scientifically altered, speaking, bespectacled member of the slimy Gremlin horde that swarms Manhattan’s high-tech Clamp Tower skyscraper in helmer Joe Dante’s madcap sequel Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Superficially, it’s simply an portfolio pointer from one monster to another. But, in a strange manner, it’s also remarkably sound life advice. Truly, listen to my reasoning.

When life takes a turn for the worse, the worst thing you can do is approach matters with excessive gravity. The Brain Gremlin understands this. In fact, a large portion of the dentally-gifted beasts that inhabit Dante’s unrestrained 1990 movie (arguably his best) possess the same sly, self-aware sense of humour regarding the hazy boundary separating everyday life and unadulterated chaos. It’s a particular aspect of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that maintains my loyalty – and with the passage of time, it’s the theme that echoes the loudest.

A Childhood Fixation

Understandably, my attachment to this movie wasn’t born on such an introspective level. As a child, we possessed merely a few battered VHS tapes at home. Among them were Gremlins and its sequel, the latter housed in a thick former-rental sleeve probably bought from an non-chain rental store and sporting grimacing beasts on its knackered cover. I was instantly captivated and these films did not delay embedding themselves inside my tiny, impressionable mind. After that point, they became an near-everyday part of my youthful watching schedule.

Dante’s initial installment typically gets all the praise, thanks mostly because of its reputation as a semi-scary seasonal fave – and let me be clear, I’ve watched Gremlins more times than I can count. That said, its sequel infrequently obtains the same level of high regard, which feels unjust. As a kid, I’d always seize the chance to watch Gremlins 2. During bright summer vacations, I’d seclude myself indoors and play it. When I acquired my personal TV-VHS combo unit, it remained on repeat in my bedroom. Over time, it ingrained itself in my mindset. If my parents observed this fixation, they gave no indication of concern.

Subtler Discoveries and Pop-Culture Nuggets

As I grew, new insights enhanced frequent screenings, amplifying the pleasure of watching little green monsters joyously wreck a New York high-rise. I learned the forward-thinking real estate tycoon and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was inspired directly by the eventual commander-in-chief Donald Trump, with his auburn-haired worker Marla (Haviland Morris) alluding to his former spouse Marla Maples. Luckily, Clamp demonstrates more humanity than his real-life counterpart.

The “end of civilisation” video Clamp plays during maximum monster mayhem? I discovered it was inspired by a actual “Doomsday” video commissioned by the CNN boss Ted Turner in case the world truly faced apocalypse. I noticed how Dante took extra pains to film different iterations of a self-referential segment where Gremlins take over the very film you’re watching. A version for theaters, a separate one for tape and broadcast, each delivering a smirking slice of meta pop-culture magic before the term was even a thing.

An Enduring Legacy

While it was creature designer Rick Baker’s wonderfully grotesque creatures that caught my eye as a child, this hidden treasure kept me hooked as an adult. Eventually, I even interviewed Dante about it myself and he had no hesitation telling me he made the movie with the direct intention of ridiculing those who loved its absurd-yet-genuine predecessor and desired a sequel. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he happily revealed. This anarchic defiance and determination to not take his sequel as gravely as his Warner Bros bosses obviously desired, only made me love it even more.

When I went through a unexpected loss in the family recently, I was taken aback to discover that, during my deepest grief, all I wanted to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Odd, no? Possibly not. The nostalgic calm it provided was needed to weaken my mind’s grief morass – but the stuff it had imparted to me as an adult were equally valuable.

Like Gremlins running amok in a genetics laboratory, there’s some things in life you just cannot manage. Dante knows it. The Brain Gremlin agrees completely. Sometimes, you have to be like them: accept the turmoil, invest all your resources into canned food and shotguns and try not to take things too seriously.

It’s powerful existential guidance from a highly unexpected fountain – and it’s why Gremlins 2: The New Batch will always be my feelgood film.